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Toddler Night Terrors, Nightmares and Bedtime Fears: How to Help
Back to Baby Sleep
There's nothing quite like being jolted awake by a scream from down the hall. You rush in to find your little one sitting up, eyes wide, crying, and they don't even seem to know you're there. Or maybe bedtime itself has become the battle, with monsters under the bed and a toddler who suddenly won't let you leave the room. Night terrors, nightmares and bedtime fears are all really common in toddlers, and the good news is that each one has a different, simple way to help. Here's how to tell them apart and what to do.
The short answer
Night terrors happen when a child partly wakes from deep sleep. They might scream, thrash or look terrified, but they're still asleep, won't respond to you and won't remember it in the morning. Raising Children Network advises not to wake your child during a night terror: stay close, keep them safe and let it pass. Nightmares are bad dreams that do wake your child, and they'll want comfort and reassurance. Both are common in toddlers, and most children grow out of them.
What Are Night Terrors?
A night terror is when a child suddenly becomes very upset while they're still asleep. They might scream, cry, sit bolt upright, thrash about or look frightened with their eyes wide open. It can be really distressing to watch, but your child isn't actually awake, isn't having a bad dream and won't remember it the next day.
Night terrors usually happen between 18 months and 6 years of age, according to SA Health's parenting guide. Common triggers include being overtired, a change in routine, being unwell and a family history of night terrors or sleepwalking. They can look alarming, but they don't harm your child, and Pregnancy, Birth and Baby notes that most children simply grow out of them.
Night Terrors vs Nightmares: What's the Difference?
They're easy to mix up in the middle of the night, but they're quite different, and the right response is different too:
Night Terrors vs Nightmares
A quick guide for the middle of the night:
| Night terror | Nightmare | |
|---|---|---|
| Is my child awake? | No. They're still asleep, even if their eyes are open | Yes. The dream wakes them up |
| Will they respond to me? | Usually not, and may push you away | Yes, and they'll want comfort |
| Will they remember it? | No | Often, especially older toddlers |
| What should I do? | Don't wake them. Stay close and keep them safe | Comfort and reassure them |
Sources: Raising Children Network, Pregnancy, Birth and Baby.
What to Do During a Night Terror
It goes against every instinct, but the best thing you can do during a night terror is very little. Raising Children Network recommends:
- Don't try to wake them. Waking a child mid-terror usually leaves them confused and more upset, and it can make the episode last longer.
- Stay close and stay calm. Sit nearby, even if your child doesn't seem to want you there.
- Keep them safe. If they move around or get out of bed, gently guide them away from anything they could bump into, and make sure stairs and doors are secure.
- Let it pass. Most night terrors are over within a few minutes, and your child will usually drift straight back into a settled sleep.
- Tell anyone who babysits what night terrors look like and what to do.
If the night terrors happen around the same time each night, Raising Children Network suggests gently rousing your child about half an hour beforehand and then resettling them, for 2 to 4 weeks. It doesn't work for every child, but it can help break the pattern.
They Won't Remember It (Even If You Will)
Night terrors are usually far harder on parents than on the child. Your little one will most likely wake up the next morning with no idea anything happened, so try not to bring it up or worry them about it.
How to Help After a Nightmare
Nightmares are scary dreams, and unlike night terrors, they wake your child up feeling frightened. Young children can't always tell the difference between a dream and real life, so they need your help to feel safe again.
- Go to them quickly and offer a cuddle and calm reassurance.
- Keep it short and soothing. Let them know it was a dream and that they're safe, then settle them back in their own bed.
- Leave the door open or a dim night light on if it helps them feel better, as suggested by SA Health.
- Talk about it in the morning if they want to. Drawing the dream and "fixing" the ending can help older toddlers feel more in control.
Why Is My Toddler Scared of Bedtime?
Bedtime fears often show up from around 2 years old, right as your toddler's imagination takes off. The same creativity that turns a cardboard box into a spaceship can turn a dark corner into a monster. Common triggers include:
- Imaginative play about "baddies", dragons or monsters
- A scary scene in a show, film or book
- Overhearing news or grown-up conversations they don't understand
- Big changes, like a new sibling, starting childcare or moving house
- Simply not liking the dark, or not wanting to be apart from you
These fears are a normal part of development, and they usually ease with time, patience and a predictable bedtime.
How to Help Your Toddler Feel Safe at Bedtime
- Take the fear seriously. "There's no such thing as monsters" rarely helps. Listen, acknowledge the feeling and reassure them that you're close by and they're safe.
- Keep explanations short and simple, then gently move their focus to something they love.
- Try a soft, dim night light if the dark is the problem.
- Stick to a calm, predictable routine. Bath, sleepwear, story, cuddle, bed, in the same order every night. Predictability feels safe.
- Add a goodnight ritual, like a special song or phrase you say every night before lights out.
- Switch off screens well before bed, and steer clear of anything scary in the evening.
- Make sure they're getting enough sleep. Overtiredness can make both fears and night terrors worse. Our guide to how much sleep toddlers need can help.
- Use a familiar sleep cue. Zipping into the same cosy toddler sleep suit or sleeping bag every night tells their body it's time to rest, and can feel like a reassuring hug.
Make bedtime feel safe and snug
When to Talk to Your GP
Night terrors, nightmares and bedtime fears are a normal part of growing up, but it's worth checking in with your GP or child and family health nurse if:
- night terrors or nightmares happen very often, or several times a night
- they're affecting your child during the day, or your child seems anxious, stressed or very tired
- your child snores or seems to have trouble breathing while asleep
- fears around bedtime don't ease with comfort and a calm routine, or seem to be getting bigger
Raising Children Network suggests keeping a simple sleep diary of when your child sleeps and when the night terrors happen. It's helpful to bring along to the appointment.
FAQs About Night Terrors and Nightmares
What is bedtime anxiety?
Bedtime anxiety is when a child feels worried or scared at bedtime, often about the dark, being alone or being apart from you. It's very common from around 2 years old, as their imagination develops. A calm, predictable routine, a soft night light and plenty of reassurance usually help. If it's ongoing or getting worse, talk to your GP or child and family health nurse.
When do kids get scared of the dark?
Fear of the dark often starts from around 2 years old, as a toddler's imagination takes off. It's a normal stage of development, and it usually eases with time, reassurance and a dim night light.
Why is my toddler screaming at bedtime?
Common reasons include being overtired, not wanting to be apart from you, a growing fear of the dark, or simply not being ready for sleep. If your toddler screams while they're still asleep and doesn't respond to you, it may be a night terror instead. A consistent wind-down routine and calm reassurance help most toddlers settle.
What's the difference between night terrors and nightmares?
During a night terror your child is still asleep, won't respond to you and won't remember it. A nightmare is a bad dream that wakes your child up, and they'll usually want comfort.
Should I wake my child during a night terror?
No. Waking them usually makes them more confused and upset. Stay close, keep them safe and let the night terror pass.
What age do night terrors start?
Night terrors usually happen between 18 months and 6 years of age, and most children grow out of them.
Key Takeaway
Night terrors look scary, but your child is asleep and won't remember them, so stay close, keep them safe and don't wake them. Nightmares and bedtime fears need the opposite: comfort, reassurance and a calm, predictable routine. Both are a normal part of growing up, and with a little patience (and maybe a night light), most toddlers leave them behind.
Looking for more help with toddler sleep? Explore the Love to Dream baby sleep blog.